Feeling Blue – written in 1994

I wrote this in 1994 but honestly this feeling comes up more than I would like to admit.

FEELING BLUE

I’m scared. I’m sad, I’m really shook up inside
I just don’t know where I can go to hide
I am feeling so very lonely and incredibly sad
And I don’t know how or why things ever got this bad

I ache for some good news, for this I need and I hope
But I need it soon for I am at the end of my rope
I am not sure of the way I fell into this rut
But this emotional strain is a door I would just love to shut

I long for the days to come back where I would be happy and I would feel
The world was on my side and everything was a good and big deal
But unfortunately those days are gone and I have almost forgotten
This is why I feel so damn rotten !!!!

September 19, 1994

Sums It Up For Me Today

My poem was published in the United Kingdom Noble House’s edition, Theatre of the Mind – 2003

Sums It Up For Me Today

There was a time
When life did not need justification
Days came to a close
And sleep was with a clear mind
Society’s expectations had no causal effect on my view
Where my choice or decision would only impact me
My life did not feel
As it was manipulated by others
There was no concern
For what or how things are said
Nor could anyone else’s tone
Cause me concern
I am constantly feeling
That the corporate world
Has a very tight grip around my neck
How so I miss to breathe freely again.

Hi, what do you want?

Hi, Ray here and if this is read by anyone curious if I can get a reply.

Straight forward question – What do you want?

Me? (thanks for askin’ – hehehe like you did eh?)

Personally want to be part of a cast where we are friends, we compliment each other during our performance and overall really like each other. This on a reoccurring network TV show (weekly work) or a big feature film (where we spend months together filming).

This is my big ask to the universe!

How about you?

Little Big Guy

Well he, Gunnar was meant to be.

Alexis, our 14 y/o White Shepherd succumbed to Lymphoma on July 4, 2018 and I have been feeling lost ever since. I miss her will always think about her and cannot forget about her.

Gunnar is coming into our world this Thursday – being delivered by the breeder in Vaughn and has a great personality and is young, intelligent, energetic and playful <-- I really enjoy the 'puppy phase'. I was educated with Shepherds from Alexis (personality, intelligence etc.) and will carry that forward with Gunnar. Another obvious difference is Alexis was female and Gunnar is male. Being a male and having a male dog growing up I am aware there are personality differences between the sexes. Hunter gatherer VS nurturer. Gunnar who is 6 months old (who has basic training already and is house trained <-- big item IMO) will take some time getting to know each other & like I mentioned earlier is a male. Male personalities are 'stand-off-ish'. At least my comparison with Alexis to the family pooch growing up. Alexis was such a great personality and always ready to be with you. Not so sure Gunnar will be as 'cuddly' <-- for lack of a better descriptive word but will be a great companion to us both and for the years forward. Excited to have him here while we learn from each other over the years. To our pooch Gunnar!